My debut on Youtube.

So you know 
those people who are just naturals in front of the camera?
Yup, not one of those.

I like to frequently search youtube for fertility stories,
and sit and torture myself by watching them and crying like a nutjob.
Seriously though, usually they end in a baby and it just makes
me all warm and tingly.
It's a source of hope for me.

I watch so many of them I figured I'd make my own....
and the verdict is that I'm a total Tard in front of the camera,
but I'm gonna share it anyways.
No use in pretending I'm cool or anything. ;)

"Hi Youtube..." Yeah, I won't be signing up for a career in television anytime soon! 

Our fertility story.

 Today is the day. 
Possibly the day when everything I prayed, wished, hoped for starts to come true. 
I'm so excited, y'all! 
It's been such a long road with all the fertility stuff, 
and I know it's not close to over yet, 
but finally I can see a little glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel.

I figured today would be a good day to share with you our fertility struggles, 
from day one. 

I guess Joe and I had been married all of five minutes when we started trying for a baby.
We both knew we wanted a big family. 
Both of us had a rough sort of childhood. 
I was raised by my Grandparents, and his Mom had mostly raised him, 
but with a lot of drama along the way. 
When I think back, we probably started trying a little too early,
but it's a good thing we didn't wait too long, 
because we didn't know what a road we had ahead of us. 

Just like everyone else who starts trying to conceive, we just knew it was going to 
happen instantly. 
I probably had ruffled feathers about it by a month or so into it, 
just because I had high expectations that it would happen quickly. 

We tried for about six months before I really got the feeling that I knew something was 
wrong, but even then we continued to try. 
About a year into it we started seeking medical attention. 
I've gotta tell you though, I wasn't impressed with the first set of Doctors we saw. 
They didn't seem to buy the fact that anything was wrong with me, 
so they just prolonged everything, taking months to make any real steps of progress. 
Luckily for us, when my Husband got out of the military, we moved back from 
Tennessee to Florida and had to change Doctors.

I instantly fell in love with our new Doctor. 
He was kind, and within a month he had set up testing to see if my tubes were blocked.
The test confirmed what I already felt I knew, they were blocked, 
and scarred. 

To this day, I don't really know why my tubes are the way they are. 
I don't have any history that would point to this. 
The Doctors say it looks like I may have had endometriosis (not sure I spelled that right) 
and that it just played a number on my tubes. 

After they confirmed my tubes were blocked, I asked for immediate 
laparascopic surgery, to get a better look. 
The Doctor said that he did the best he could to clear out the blockages in my tubes, 
but they're extremely enlarged and just all around damaged. 
He told us we could try, since I was may not be impossible that I would become pregnant.

All my life I've been so excited to be a Mother. 
I never had any huge career ambitions growing up. 
I just knew that I was going to have that family life I'd always craved. 

I went into a pretty dark place realizing that it just may not be possible. 
This last year has been the hardest of my life, 
but I've finally come to a place where I'm accepting of what is, 
and I have hope. 

After the surgery, my Doctor mentioned to me that I could try in vitro...
a procedure where egg and sperm is mixed, an embryo is made, 
and that embryo is directly implanted into your uterus. 
For those of you who don't know, it's a VERY expensive procedure, 
for which insurance will not pay. 

Through some amazing miracle, my Husband has had a ridiculous amount of work 
this first few months of the year...making three to four times more than he ever has, 
allowing us to put a great amount of money into savings. 
Allowing us to be able to afford a chance at our biggest dream, to be parents. 

Today is our first consultation for in vitro, and we are over the moon excited. 
It's hard for me to fathom that I could be pregnant soon. 
April marks our four year wedding anniversary. 
Four years of trying, crying and not understanding what the heck was going on.

I'm super blessed to have that man as my Husband.
He wants kids every bit as much as me, and he is healthy enough to have them. 
Never once has he made me feel anything but supported, loved, and enough. 

I am so excited for everything to come this next few months, 
and I have to really believe that this is what we've been waiting for, 
which is hard for me (I'm sort of the pessimistic type.) 

Thanks for reading our infertility story, and I can't wait to keep you updated every 
step of the way. 

Me & my babe, probably a week after we started dating.

Pretty sure he's the cutest thing ever! :)

Bring on my little petri dish baby!!

If you've read this blog before, you know that Joe & I have
 been in the baby making business for a while now. 
I'm from the country y'all...
everyone and their Momma is fertile myrtle around there. 
I just assumed when I started trying I'd be fertile myrtle too..
not so. 

A little thing called Endometriosis pretty much murdered my tubes...
and despite our best efforts, surgery, treatments of all kinds, the stork has yet to visit us. 

We've been counting and saving our pennies for a little thing called in vitro, 
and we officially have enough. 

Our Doctor has presented us with the choice of waiting, because he says 
since they did laparoscopic surgery to clear out my tubes a little, it's 
not impossible that I'll conceive, BUT with that there comes a high risk of tubal pregnancy.
And we've been trying, without so much as a hint of progress.

I said all that to say this...Thursday is our very first appointment where we'll 
consult for in vitro. 
We are nervous, scared, but most of all EXCITED! 
It's crazy to think that this time in a few months, I could
have a baby in my belly. 
I won't even know how to act, because it's something I've wanted for so long now. 

We're really trusting God on this one. 
He knows what is best for Joe & Brittney. 

Stay tuned for updates on our baby makin' journey! 

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